


Somewhere In Dreamland

by ZombieCyborgAssassin



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Endgame, Unbeta'd, We die like (wo)men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:35:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22159462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieCyborgAssassin/pseuds/ZombieCyborgAssassin
Summary: Darcy keeps waking up from steamy dreams. I'm kinda bad at summary. My bad.(Title is reference to the 1936 Fleischer animation of the same name - it literally one of my favourite things in all the world)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster/Thor
Comments: 198
Kudos: 339





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Livvy_Nicklaus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livvy_Nicklaus/gifts).



> I own nothing. This is Unbeta'd.
> 
> For Livvy because I feel like she might like this one. Xx
> 
> If you like this, check out my other fics, and my website for original content.
> 
> [www.KatherineHenshaw.com](https://www.katherinehenshaw.com)

_ Her thighs burned as she raised herself up, her lips and chest dragging slowly against his while their breaths mingled between them. The scent of sex and sweat and gun oil saturated the air and left her gasping while she slid down his girth, filling her to the brim and igniting the same places again and again. The pinch of skin between metal plates made her moan weakly as the sting urged her on, not that she’d tell him in fear that he’d stop.  _

_ Hazy blue eyes had connected with her own and neither had barely blinked as they’d shucked off their clothes and began this delicious intimacy.  _

_ Arching her back and rolling her hips, she pressed her clit against his pelvis. His large hand in her hair tugged her closer while she shuddered. He groaned at the way she flexed her pelvic muscles for him as she lifted herself back up again. _

Darcy woke from her restless sleep covered in sweat and aching between her legs. It was the third time that week. She rolled her eyes and shoved her hand down her panties and did her best to remember the way the spicy male scent had surrounded her, and the warmth of his muscles that held her tight. It didn’t take her long to reach orgasm, and while her body was satisfied and languid, her heart felt cold and tight. Curling up on her side, she tucked her knees to her chest and stared blankly at her dreams. 

He wasn’t her great love, or the one that got away. He wasn’t some destiny that she couldn’t fulfil, or some kind of daydream that she’d had an intense love affair with, nor was he someone that was interested in even knowing her name. 

She’d met him in passing a couple of times, back when she and Jane had been hidden in Wakanda for a week after the accords went down. There wasn’t anything more than a curt nod of the head and he was just another face that came and went. 

She hadn’t seen him at all in the years since, wondered if he’d died at all. There was the first fight with Thanos, the dusting that had taken Jane from her, the five years of interacting with Natasha on comms and intel to help keep her informed, the undusting and the sudden disappearance and presumed loss of the older woman who’d become like an older sister. Jane’s reappearance to recruit her into her crazy circus that she’d agreed to with her own stipulations that involved continuing to help whoever Nat had left in her place without notice. Jane seemed to be amenable to that, even adding that she’d help if she could. 

Deciding that she had enough to do for the day, she climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to give herself a once over with the body gel. After the dusting, there was an awful lot of changes for Darcy; she learned to make her own healthy food, barter for fresh vegetables in exchange for computer repairs and security systems upkeep and updating. She learned to use a gun, a knife and a garrote, how to pick locks and jack cars, at Natasha’s insistence. She learned from the Widow to keep herself unseen and forgettable, so she wore only black and kept her makeup to mascara and a little kitten flick (because she wasn’t about to lose herself completely, duh) and even then, she hid those behind generic sunglasses when she needed to. 

Throwing on her yoga pants and black tank top, she began harnessing the double shoulder holster to her while mentally flicking through her days tasks. 

_ Collate and sort Jane’s data. Hack New Shield, Senator Ross and British guy that looks like Bilbo Baggins and collate and sort data. Send Jane’s data to Jane, send Hacked data to Nat’s possibly untouched, unseen point of contact. Buy this week's groceries. Find a place that sells vibrators. _

She checked her safety and tucked her guns into the holster, while rolling her eyes at herself. She had no idea why she was having sexy sex dreams that were better than any sex that she’d ever  _ actually _ experienced in her life, but it was weird. Especially when it was with someone that she’d never really known or anything. But she made a mental note to start a little coded tracker in her bullet journal for when she was having them and the intensity, because she just  _ knew _ this wasn’t normal… and if the past 10 years had taught her anything, it was that not normal things were something to be concerned about. 

She stepped out to the makeshift lab-slash-living-room where Jane was already tinkering with one of her space majiggies, and made her way to the kitchen where she put the carafe on the electric stove top for a round of extra strong black coffee for the two of them.

She wasn’t noticed by the diminutive space nerd until her spanner was taken from her hand and the black sludge was put in its place. 

“Oh, good morning Darcy,” Jane took a sip and sighed happily, “one of your alerts went off, by the way.” It was absently spoken as she turned back to the machine she was fiddling with. 

Darcy’s brows popped up and she scooted to her bank of computer screens in the corner and logged on. She opened the alert and felt her brows raise at the notification from user name  **Widowspeak** . Opening the interaction, she felt her heartbeat kick up a notch wondering if her favourite spy lady was okay.

**Widowspeak:**

_ Hello _

**Widowspeak:**

_ I’ve just caught up on the intel you’ve been sending _

**Widowspeak:**

_ No one was aware that there was so much backing up _

**Widowspeak:**

_ or that you were such a huge part of Nat’s online intel for earth _

**Widowspeak:** __

_ There’s a few things I’d like you to look into if you wouldn’t mind _

Darcy bit her lip. This was someone else. It  _ might _ be one of Nat’s friends, but then it also could be someone else who could just be the bad guy.

  
  


**:WinterIsComing**

_ Who is this? _

**:WinterIsComing**

_ What exactly are you looking for? _

She watched as the three dots appeared almost immediately and held her breath. 

**Widowspeak:**

_ I’m a friend of Nats, I was hoping you could do some research into what you can find about a few certain people. _

Darcy narrowed her eyes at the screen and drank deeply from her coffee. Cracking her neck, she traced the link and hooked into the cameras that were linked to the system that was using Nats account. It was a complex and enormous system, thousands of cameras attached, that she was going to have to sift through. Knowing Nat, she would probably guess it were a compound for the former Avengers, but that didn't mean it was secure or the people were trustworthy. Look at what happened in Germany. 

**:WinterIsComing**

_ You’re gonna have to do better than that. _

  
  


She was stalling them to get herself more time. The system was- “Oh my gods.” She’d stumbled into the AI system that was running the compound, and from the looks of things, she was  _ authorised! _

**Widowspeak:**

_ I should have known one of Nats contacts was suspicious. _

She typed in the commands to the AI, who called herself FRIDAY and seems rather lovely, and watched as several windows of live footage popped up on her three screens. Several of which FRIDAY indicated was the communal areas of the compound, another was the gym where several men and women were working out (she asked FRIDAY what she wanted for christmas for that one, she said that she wanted a little brother, Darcy vowed to work on it) and there in the middle of it all, was a video of an old man sitting at a computer. 

She zoomed in on the old man and nearly fell out of her chair. That was Captain America… only  _ old. _

**Widowspeak:**

_ What do I need to do to reassure you? _

Smirking, yet reassured already, she decided to have some fun with it. 

**:WinterIsComing**

_ Depends on what authority you have. And what you want me to search for. _

**Widowspeak:**

_ I have enough authority, what do you need? _

Cackling, Darcy began typing. 

**:WinterIsComing**

_ I need better tech, I need to relocate without being tracked by any government, I need eye candy _

She stared at the screen for a moment.

**:WinterIsComing**

_ And I need to know what happened to Nat _

She watched the old man run his hand tiredly over his face and she knew instantly that the indomitable Widow was no more. She tried to keep the tears in, but knew it was no use. She let them fall as the weathered hands of Steve Rogers typed and retyped his response. Deciding that she wasn’t that big of a bitch, she shot of a quick message. 

**:WinterIsComing**

_ I take it from the long delay and the hesitancy to reply that Nat didn’t make it? _

She watched him deflate with grief and relief and decided to do what she did best, make an inappropriate joke. 

**:WinterIsComing**

_ Either that, or you’re worried you don’t have enough eye candy for me _

She would deny it to her dying day… or til Jane got her drunk enough… but seeing Old Man Steve snicker was literally the best thing ever and she hoped she could do it on the regular.

**Widowspeak:**

_ No, sadly Nat did not make it. Though if she were here, she’d be the first to tell you that we have an overabundance of ‘eye candy’ here. Were you looking to relocate anywhere in particular? We could use someone like you here to be honest.  _

Darcy narrowed her eyes at the old man who seemed to be biting the inside of his cheek and quickly conversed with FRIDAY while scrolling through the security feeds and the personnel lists at the facility. FRIDAY seemed to be somewhat paranoid, or was made by someone who was paranoid as she corrected Darcy, and was basically tracking everyone on a threat level as well as skill and each had an abundant file on them. She and Jane were in there as though they were living there already. Flicking through the stats she came to a halt and stared at the face of someone she only knew by reputation, and knew instantly that they were headed for the same compound.

**:WinterIsComing**

_ I’m convinced. Send your hottest hotties and some kind of transport and we’ll have everything to go by the time you get here. _

She giggled as she watched Old Cap go still and suddenly look suspicious.

**Widowspeak:**

_ That was almost TOO easy… _

Darcy didn’t want to give the old man a heart attack, so she fluffed her hair and asked FRIDAY to set up her camera and popped herself up onto the screen he was looking at with a little finger wave. “Hey Dude. How’d you get so old?”

FRIDAY had done her the favour of using the webcam directly in front of Old Cap, so she got to see every little wrinkle as he laughed at that.

“Darcy Lewis, it's been a long time. More so for me, actually. I guess you could say that life happened.” His non answer was cute and she smiled. 

“If I were into old dudes, Cap, I’d totally hit that. Sadly, you’re like my grandpa, and all I wanna do is make sure you’ve got your crosswords and some kind of Rat Pack movie on.” She knew her smile was silly, but the guy looked like he didn't mind.

“If you’re not into older dudes, what’re you doing with that username?” The sassy quirk of his eyebrow was enough to distract her from the question for a moment, but when it  _ did _ penetrate her brain she felt herself turn red. 

“Oh my  _ gods, _ Steven! It's from a  _ TV show _ which is based on a book! Not your delicious cyborg BFF from the Bronze age!” She didn’t even know how, but she felt incredibly comfortable talking smack with this Old Cap, even though they had barely met, and even when they did, he seemed like he had the biggest stick up his ass.

“It was the Neolithic era, thank you very much.” She smiled at him a moment, taking his measure. This could work.

Nodding to herself, she leaned into the camera with her no nonsense negotiation face on. “Right, Jane and I will be there with bells, she’ll need lab space, and I’ll need tech space in that lab space so I can do both my jobs.”

“Have your bags packed by tomorrow twelve-hundred, I’ll have rooms and lab space sorted, and put your best face forward, Ms Lewis, you’re about to get some eye candy.” His smile had a smug edge to it, and she just  _ knew  _ that she was going to get her eye candy, but it would be the unstable centenarian kind. Considering the nature of her dreams of late, she was concerned, but not overtly so, since she knew she had a banging body and was a really awesome person. Not to mention that she had a Jane on her side.

She bit her lip and looked over her shoulder before typing out her next question. 

**:WinterIsComing**

_ Is Thor still there? Did he survive? _

Steve read the message and shook his head. “He’s alive, but he hitched a ride with some other off worlders.” 

Sighing, Darcy nodded her acceptance. “I’ll take what I can get.” She leaned back and hollered, “Janey, wanna work with Dr Bruce Banner?”

She watched Steve’s head tip back with laughter at how fast Jane popped up out of nowhere with a million questions, all of which she left to Steve while she started to pack their things.


	2. Chapter 2

_ His breath dusted her ear as he drove into her furiously, her nails gripped his back in desperation.  _

_ “More! More! Please!”  _

_ Her head was thrown back and her eyes rolled even further. They were both drenched in sweat, and neither cared. The constant slap slap slap of skin and the way the headboard rammed the wall was loud, but she didn’t notice them, she could only hear his harsh breath in her ear. Every ragged exhale brings her joy and gets her closer to an explosion. She can feel the thumping of his heart in her chest, but equally, she can feel his and it makes her arch her back. The changed angle allows him to hit a sensitive spot that makes her see stars. _

_ “Ughhh! Bucky!” her thighs shook around him as he continued to pound into her ruthlessly.  _

_ In the quiet that followed, their sweat fusing their heated skin together, she revelled in the proof that he was alive.  _

_ “I dunno how the prevent this from happening again, Doll, but I’ll do whatever I can.” _

**Vvvvt vvvt. Vvvvt vvvt.**

Darcy woke covered in sweat and a familiar ache between her legs, but also in her chest that she’d never felt before. The dreams had never left her with feelings before. 

**Vvvvt vvvt. Vvvvt vvvt.**

Her phone's vibration finally broke through her thoughts and she checked the time as she answered. 12:08PM. 

Shit.

She scuttled off the bare bed and tossed her hair off her face as she answered the unknown number with a sleep husky voice. 

“Darcy’s BDSM dungeon, everyone’s kinda tied up at the moment, what can I do to you?”

The silence on the other line had her grinning like a loon as she swept into the living room to make Jane and her coffees to-go. 

“Uh.” The male voice was either confused or embarrassed, perhaps both, and Darcy had to mute her phone to laugh out loud at it.

“Oh I see, you’re already gagged then? Bummer, I like it when they scream my name.” She bit her lip and not a half a breath later she finally hears a response.

“No! Nonono! I was told to call this number when I got to a specific location to help a couple people move. Sam, I think the Punk is having us on, the number is to some kinky dun-.” 

Click. 

She checked her screen and had to hold herself up against the bench as she cried with gut wrenching laughter. 

She didn’t notice Jane had joined her until she was gifted with the scent of poured and doctored coffee within reach of her hands. Trying to get her snort-giggles under control, she looked up at a silently questioning Jane only to be disrupted by her phone ringing again.

She cleared her throat and did her best to get herself under control before she started up again. She pressed the green icon and with a false cheer, answered, “Darcy’s BDSM dungeon, everyone’s kinda tied up at the moment, what can I do to you?”

Jane’s eyes rolled, but Darcy could see the wicked smirk that pulled at her boss slash sisters mouth, and knew that the diminutive scientist was enjoying this as much as she was. 

“Lewis, I swear you are going to make my old age so much fun.” Old Steve’s frail voice trailed through the link, and for a moment Darcy felt a little weird talking kinkiness to an old person, but then this was  _ Steve _ , she’d heard stories from Nat about this tool and damned if she wasn’t already kinda thinking of him as a bro, wrinkles and all.

“Sup Old Cap, how ya doin’?” she sipped her coffee and ignored the indignation coming from Jane, who perhaps still didn't know how much Darcy had been doing for the remaining Avengers during the five years she’d been dusted. 

“Oh, you know… getting told off by an old friend for purposely giving him the wrong number. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?” the light amusement in his voice made Darcy smile. 

“You know, I haven’t the foggiest, oh Ancient Avenger, perhaps you  _ did _ give your friend the wrong number…” she pursed her lips to keep from laughing, and side eyed what Jane was wearing to make sure she was ready to go since it seemed like their ride was about to arrive. Leggings and an old shirt Thor had left behind, good enough.

“I gave them your address to save time, unfortunately, there are a few people that are a little excited to have you both here, myself included, so you need to get the lead out. They should be there soon.”

**Knock Knock Knock**

“I think they’re here.” She couldn’t keep the grin off her face even if she tried as she watched Jane jump up excitedly to open the door, probably hoping that it was Dr Banner. She and Jane had been doing a lot all on their lonesome, and before Jane was undusted it was just Darcy on her own. The idea of being around other people on a more consistent basis was exciting. 

Steve had started saying something on the other end of the phone, but Jane had opened the door and there stood two men, one of which had all of her attention. 

She felt her body flush with excitement and joy and… relief? She felt the urge to jump up and run to him, but she was so confused by the reaction that she froze.

The moment that Bucky Barnes lay eyes on her, she knew something weird was happening. He looked like he was feeling  _ things _ and then he took a step toward her before what she assumed was logic took over and he held himself back. 

“Darcy?” 

What was this? First the dreams and now this mutual emotional thing. And damn if his presence wasn’t affecting her more than the dreams ever did. She felt the need to have a long cold shower. Fully clothed. She didn't need to be imagining what was going on under that admiral blue coat of his, her dreams managed to fill in the gaps. Were the dreams a symptom of something? She wasn’t dusted so she couldn’t say it was anything to do with the time she’d been missing like Jane. 

“ _ Darcy?” _

Did the way he reacted mean that he was having sexy dreams about her too? Oh boy, mutual wet dreams are way more embarrassing than solo ones. Not that she’d ever be embarrassed about having wet dreams, she just wouldn't tell just anyone. Jane; yes. Random stranger that might be the centre of her nightly spontaneous orgasms; not so much. 

**_“Darcy!”_ **

She startled and looked around, seeing that Jane was now standing in front of her looking all kinds of concerned, and over her shoulder, Darcy could make out two edgy looking Avengers - one more intense than the other. 

“Sup?” She gave Jane a quick sassy smile, that sadly didn’t fool Jane in the least, and realised that she had Old Steve on the phone still. 

She switched it over to video call and smiled at the weathered face of America's greatest hero. “Am I being Punk’d or is this the best eye candy you could scrounge up?” she turned the camera to a now blank faced former Winter Soldier, and a protesting Falcon. 

A dry chuckle met her words, “No, Ashton Kutcher isn’t about to jump out, they were the prettiest one’s I could find in short notice, had I the time, I would have tried to find a way to bring my younger self back here just for you.” 

She laughed, watching the indignation on the Falcon’s face. “Man, it bothers me  _ a whole hell of a lot _ that you get that reference. I spent literal years trying to catch you up.” He threw his hands up, ignoring Steve’s smirking face and held a hand out to Darcy. “Hey, I’m Sam Wilson, A.K.A The Falcon, A.K.A The Good Looking Guy In The Sunglasses, and sometimes A.K.A Captain America 2.0,” He threw a thumb over his shoulder without looking, “and this is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, A.K.A the pain in my ass.”

She watched in fascination as the literal man of her dreams rolled his eyes with so much sass that she nearly whimpered (Look, sass is not just her love language, it is also her lust language. A sassy man could have all her clothes and do whatever he wants to her. Okay? okay.) “Look, Pal, if you’re under some delusion-”

“Who said I was your ‘Pal’?”

“-that you yourself aren’t the biggest pain in the ass in this room-”

“Listen-”

Darcy decided to interrupt, “Oh  _ please _ , the biggest pain in the ass is me! By far!” The two men stared at her as she turned to Jane, “Amiright?”

Jane nodded sagely, “It's true. She truly is a pain in the ass-”

“Hey!” Steve’s tinny voice reminding everyone that he was still on the phone drew the rooms attention, “If I recall correctly,  _ I _ am the very bane of all your existences for over a hundred years-”

Insulted, Darcy turned the screen back to her with a frown, “That’s before you met me, John Gustafson-”

Steve bellowed with laughter, “I am  _ not _ grumpy,  _ that _ would either be Banner, or Bucky-”

“Tch, listen Punk-”

“And don’t let his grumpiness fool you, he’s a total pushover-”

“Yo, are we talking about the same guy here Steve?” Sam butted in.

Darcy eye’d Barnes, hoping her epic horniness wasn’t showing, “I dunno, he doesn’t  _ seem _ grumpy…”

Sam jumped between her and Bucky with his arms spread wide, “Don’t get close, keep your sweet ignorance! You don’t  _ need _ to know the truth!”

She blank stared him in the eye, “But Steve-o said I could push him over.”

She ignored Sam’s  _ actual _ bird-like squawk, and turned to the other man in the room. “Okay, Winters Smoulder, I was told that you and the Turkey Boy were here to grab our bags and look pretty, sooooo,” she eyed his body in an obvious way before looking him in the eye and smirked, “Hup, two, then.”

She pointed to the suitcases and several garbage bags by the front door and turned her back to them, ignoring the  _ something _ that she had seen but couldn't name in the Sergeant’s eyes, and the way that Wilson was grumbling about the difference between turkeys and falcons. When she knew that Jane was the only one who could see her face, she mouthed ‘ _ what the fuck?’  _

Jane cocked her head before the sound of snickering reminded her that she still had Old Man Rogers on the video phone. Time to divert.

“Listen Mr. Rogers, I kinda promised a certain someone a certain something, and to do that, I kinda have to use some super-duper high tech computerage... “

There was a strange glint in Steve’s eye before he gave her a knowing smile, “Don’t you worry, you’ll have everything you need for however long you need it while you’re here.”

Darcy stared at Steve for a moment, and narrowed her eyes, “That’s the most ominous bullshit I’ve ever heard, and I’ve faced Dark Elves. How do I know that this isn’t Loki?” 

Steve scoffed, “there’s not enough bandwidth to show how vast my offence is right now.”

Darcy rolled her eyes, “Whatever, Granddad.” She darted her eyes to where the two men had left with bags, “On a scale of ‘Asexual - get the hell away from me’ to ‘DTF anytime, even in public, you just say the word’, how much can I shamelessly and/or aggressively flirt with Barnes?”

Steve huffed a laugh, “somewhere between ‘will be insanely happy about it, but won’t know what to do about it or what to do with his hands,’ to “will give exactly what he gets” I think.” There was something about the way Steve said it that reminded her of something, but it was out of reach. Like a tickle of a memory of a dream that she could barely hold onto. 

Distracted and unnerved by the things that were looking less and less like coincidences, and more and more like a  _ Thing _ that was happening (Capital T), she nodded and hung up, before turning too Jane who was looking as lost as she felt perturbed. 

“Something weird is going on that involves these guys, I think my dreams are involved, you and I need to figure it out. Alone.” Jane cocked her head, Darcy could see her science brain starting to collate facts and deducing possible causes, but the guys would be back any minute and she needed to break the mood, because this was  _ not _ the time or place to start analysing all the weirdness. “But also, oh my  _ GODS _ , Janey, it was like Pavlov's dog!”

After a pregnant pause, Jane’s eyes went wide and glanced at the door before darting to Darcy’s crotch before groaning in disgust. The two men came back to the sight of Darcy giggling hysterically and Jane banging her head against the kitchen counter.


	3. Chapter 3

_ She didn’t notice the desperate mewl that she let out when his flesh hand yanked her head to the side by her hair, skin prickling where the icy steel of the armoury lockers her back was pressed. _

_ “Nats ‘DEFCONdom 3’ me-message sudden-ly makes sooo-oh ooh much sense,” she grunts when his metal hand rips her panties off, intense black smeared eyes never leaving her own. She didn’t expect a reply, he was probably going to be mute for the next day or two. _

_ He got like this sometimes. When the mission was FUBAR. When something shook the Hydra memories loose and he went days in some bolt hole with his team stewing in the flashbacks. _

_ He shook her from her thoughts with a stinging slap to her bare ass. She loved when he took control, whether for fun or because he needed it like now. _

_ He pressed two of his thick metal fingers up into her dripping pussy, wrenching a wrecked moan from her throat when he leaned in and bit her shoulder. Pleasure ripped through her when he stretched her with a third digit, and began ravishing her already clenching passage. He swiped his thumb over her clit and she squealed writhing. She’d have fallen if he hadn’t pinned her hands above her head when he began biting and sucking her bare tits. _

  
  


Her eyes focus at the eerie silence of the quinjet. She looked around and was stunned to realise that this dream had been while she was conscious. Day Wet Dreams were a thing now apparently. No one but Jane was looking at her, but she could tell by the weird vibe from the two men in the front seats that she was the centre of attention at the moment.

She raised an eyebrow in question at Jane, who had her science face on, “did you have spontaneous orgasms while I was dusted, or is this new?”

Pre-Snap!Darcy would have been mildly embarrassed. She’d have merely imagined she wanted Loki to show up and melt her down to her bones, and then put up that front of bulletproof confidence. Post-Snap!Darcy had seen some shit and didn’t really give a fuck anymore. 

She leaned back in her seat and stretched her spine out, somehow knowing that the star of her waking wet dream was fully fixated on her, despite his seat being directly in front of hers, and his gaze being on the gauges and radars on the control panel. “Not quite, Janey. I guess I’m going to have to check out the shower facilities to wrap that up though.” 

There was a strained wheeze from the front of the quinjet and Darcy didn’t even care which guy it was, she considered it a victory. The knowing gleam in Jane’s eye knew it too.

“Is online delivery still a thing? Maybe we could get our hands on some… gadgets.” Darcy wanted to coo at the sweet way Jane was trying to help her toy with the guys, as well as her inability to name a sexual toy.

“They’re called vibes and dildos, Jane.” She tilted her head considering, ignoring the rough exhale from in front of her. “Though if you mean nipple clamps and ball gags, I’m gonna be way more impressed with Thor’s game than I was before.”

“Aight, you gotta stop, I don’t need to know any o’ this ‘bout one of my team members. Off planet or not.” Wilson was turned around, but couldn’t quite look Jane or her in the eye. 

Grinning Darcy slid forward in her seat, but before she could mess with Wilson she was face to face with Bu-Barnes. Apparently his seat was on a swivel. His striking blues held an intensity that didn’t quite match that of the daydream Bucky’s, but it was a close thing. 

She felt her body respond to his proximity, his smell, his face, his… everything. She told Jane it was Pavlovian, but she wasn’t joking. She wanted to rip his clothes off and lick him all over until all he knew was her name.

A shuddering breath escaped her, and before she could blink, his seat was spun back to face forward. The tiny flicker of his facial muscles should have been indecipherable, but in this weird bizzaro reality, he was clear as a bell. She had him off guard so he went on guard. She felt a smug smile curl up the side of her mouth at that, warmth filled her from her toes to the top of her head.

Wilson’s worried glance from Barnes to her had her offering a predatory grin and a waggle of her brows. The Falcon’s face became thoughtful and she settled back into her seat. 

“Pity about Cap, though,” Jane interjected much to Darcy’s delight, “before... when he wasn’t... old,” Darcy watched her hands fly around her as she tried to find the right words with amusement. She nodded at the astrophysicist, thinking she knew where this was going. 

“He…” Jane hesitated and glanced to Darcy, apparently finding some kind of courage and ploughed forward, “He had the kind of face a woman could ride, you know?” Darcy was disgustingly delighted by this new Jane. Darcy had been all that the tiny scientist had left, aside from the stars, when she came back from being dusted. She’d even lost all of her confidence and they had been working together to help her rebuild it. Apparently she’d made more progress than Darcy was aware of.

Offering the sister of her heart a big grin, Darcy nodded in agreement, “Preach, Janey! That dorito shaped spangly man had a shrine in my spank-bank that-” 

The aircraft suddenly dipped and stabilised again in a heartbeat, lights flickering red and then back to normal just as quick. Wilson’s terrified expression was how she thinks her face felt, and Jane was white as a ghost. 

“M’sorry.” She could see the way Barnes’ shoulders were up around his shoulders, and she knew she shouldn’t be so pleased that she’d unbalanced him so much to put them all in danger, but she was. 

“‘S’okay, Michelangelo's David 1945 Cyborg Edition, you want me to tell you all about the naughty things I used to think about  _ you _ when I was studying the Howling Commandos?”

His shoulders shook as he let out a short puff of breath, back still toward her, “lemme guess, you wondered if any of the Howling Commandos went commando?” 

Wilson let out a bark of laughter, slapping Barnes on the metal shoulder in mirth. Barnes’ shoulders loosened up slightly, but he still didn’t turn around.

She felt her eyes grow wide and gaped at Jane, who knew all about that secret fantasy. She knew exactly who was responsible for Darcy’s sexual awakening and how exactly it happened, not to mention the role playing that she’d done with a couple of her clueless ex’s.

Before either could respond, the radio crackled and Roger’s voice filled the jet’s cabin.

“Base to BirdBot. Base to BirdBot. What the fuck is happening? How did I get a warning that this quinjet was unstable? Over.”

“BirdBot to Base. Language. Over,” Wilson replied once his channel was open. 

Barnes’ shoulders were back up again. “Sorry, Punk. I fucked up.” 

The radio was silent for so long, Darcy began to worry that the connection was lost and they were all going to die or something. 

But then Roger’s smug voice came back loud and clear, “So the Jet doesn’t need service, just you, Buck?” 

Darcy peeked at a gleeful Jane before she leaned over in time to the side to see Barnes’ petulant face as he replied. 

“You got more miles on me, Jerk. anyone needs servicing, it's you.” 

Jane managed to perk up at this, “At his age, can he even  _ be _ serviced?” 

Darcy cackled, though it didn’t completely drown out Barnes’ and Wilson’s short bursts of laughter, leaned across the aisle and took Jane’s hand, 

“Marry me, Janey. We could be so good together.”

The self-assurance grew in the little brunette and made a faux solemn face at Darcy, “Sorry, Darce, you’re just not my kind of mechanic.” 

Darcy nodded and turned to Wilson, “speaking of servicing,  _ does _ the facility get deliveries? We’re going to need some DIY mechanic kits, if you know what I mean.”

No one was surprised when the quinjet dipped in the sky again.


	4. Chapter 4

_ “Outta all the missions I’ve done, this is m’ favourite.” _

_ Her back hit the door before it even closed, slamming it with a deafening thud startling another giggle from her mouth into his. _

_ “That’s ‘cause you’ve enjoyed fucking with Steve since before the Great Depression, Bucky-Bear,” she pointed out cheerfully. _

_ A boyish snicker was his astonishing response as he began tearing her shirt off. Shaking off her surprised delight as his uncharacteristic carefree demeanour, she began tugging at his shirt. Normally he was hesitant about baring his scarred flesh to her, but he was too busy trying to lick into her mouth while laughing and getting her naked.  _

_ By the time they were able to stop laughing, they were both mostly naked - her bare legs around his waist and his pants were around his ankles - and he was teasing her with the head of his weeping cock.  _

**_Thump thump thump_ **

_ Darcy’s eyes went wide at the vibration against her back. _

_ “Buck, I’m startin’ to think you’re lookin’ for the end o’ the line.” _

_ She locked eyes with Bucky at Steve’s voice, and bit her lip at the pure mischief that shone there. She didn’t even have a moment to consider what it meant before he was stretching her and ripping a raw groan of pleasure from her throat. _

_ “Buck?” The concern in Steve’s voice would have made Darcy laugh if her mouth wasn’t occupied by Bucky’s earnest, bone melting kiss. _

_ He pulled his face back mere inches, an intensity in his eyes that burned through her, drowning her in him. He began moving at a pace that she couldn’t hope to keep up with, even if she tried. The door banging in the door frame taking the brunt of their fevered thrusts.  _

_ The sensations and eye contact pulling helpless whimpers and keens from her, she knew he was fucking with Steve, but she knew it wasn’t just sex for him anymore… the friends with benefits lines had been crossed months ago. _

_ However, if he wasn’t going to bring it up, neither was she. _

  
  
  


“Darcy, you coming?” 

Jane’s voice cut through the weird sex-daydream, and she realised that the quinjet had landed, and the two hotties with bodies had already started moving their belongings out on the manicured lawn by the loading hatch. 

“If I’m lucky enough to have delivery, then yeah, I’m coming.” The quip slipped from her lips reflexively.  She made an exaggeration of biting her lip and elbowing the diminutive scientist who was wringing her hands at the way the two were carrying her precious machines. “Oh man, Janey, do you think they’d be willing to take off their shirts, make it interesting?” 

“Darcy!” Jane whisper-yelled and shot her eyes to the duo who were walking down the ramp, giving both women great vantage to peer at their asses. “They can probably hear you!” 

Darcy tore her eyes from the spine-tingling sight of Bucky Barnes bent down placing a spectrometer by the growing pile of their belongings, and raised her brows at Jane. The silent ‘that’s kinda the point’ got through to the other woman, who didn’t seem to know if she wanted to be laughing, disgusted or join in. 

They both silently watched both men finish the task, giving each other the least subtle looks of appreciation (and on one occasion, a thumbs up) in full view of their eye candy. She absently noted the way Barnes remained tense and avoided eye contact and mentally checked her guns and knife. There was something inside her purring that he’d never hurt her, unless she begged prettily for it, but she couldn’t trust these weird dreams or feelings. It might be caused by some kind of bad guy. She heard enough stories about the Maximoff twins from Nat over the five years, she knew mental tampering wasn’t impossible.

For all she knew, Loki was messing with her brain from beyond the grave, or Valhalla or wherever evil little brother viking gods go, and she was a sleeping assassin or something. Though why a sleeping assassin would be having sex daydreams about pranking Captain America with Bucky Barnes, she had no idea.

When the two men were sadly finished, she followed Jane down the ramp to be greeted by the sprawling estate that was the former Avengers compound, geriatric Captain America, and the motherfuckin’ Hulk in the green flesh himself! 

“Oh damn Janey,” the words tumbled out as the little brunette rushed past the three human-looking men and practically pounced on the somewhat bashful looking Dr Banner, gushing about the last paper he wrote. Though it was close to seven years ago now.

Sighing in defeat, Darcy turned away from the display of social disgrace, and took in the worn smirk of Steve Rogers. 

Something, that she was starting to find annoying, niggled at her brain about all of this. About him. A sense of familiarity, like de ja vu. Not a thought or a moment that felt like it was repeated. No. It was like coming back to a place she’d been before. She imagined that she’d have this same feeling if she were to go back to the apartment in London that she shared with Erik and Jane. If she were to greet Ian again. 

“Darcy Lewis, it's good to see you again.” 

Darcy took in the old man who’s worn voice and weathered skin somehow no longer fit correctly, absently taking his outstretched hand in greeting.

In the video chat, Steve’s old-ness was odd, but didn’t bother her. Now, it felt like she was looking at him through a faulty lens. 

She also had an irrational sense of anger and betrayal toward him that she didn’t know the source of. 

_ “He… he- he just… left. And had a whole fuckin’ life without me in it. Still won’t tell me about it.”  _

“Captain Apostate.” It just popped out, and her voice was clipped and she turned her head away, even while wondering why exactly  _ she _ was so furious at him. 

“Darcy!” Jane’s reprimand was expected, but she didn’t know what to say. The rest of the group was silent and still, watching.

Weirdly enough, the man himself gave a sheepish laugh, “It’s fine, Dr Foster, I completely deserved that.”

_ “The end of the line was him gettin’ some… some fuckin’ pussy!” _

Darcy felt her eyes narrow and she knew that if she were some mutant, she’d have sliced his balls off with laser sight.

“Oh? And what is that, exactly?” She phrased it to sound angry and spiteful, but only to cover the confusion and wariness that was building. The weird dreams were leaching into her like random flashes and feelings. What the hell had she done in agreeing to join the former Avengers?

_ A bleeding arm buried in crumbling drywall, the other one detached by request. _

She watched Steve’s eyes flicker to Barnes and Wilson, and she raised her brow, glancing at them herself. There was an air of awkwardness, like they didn't want to rock the boat, and somehow that made her more furious. 

She ripped her hand from Rogers, and glared at him, he knew what he did and was clearly not willing to say it. He held his hands up in submission and she curled her lip at him. Guilt was written all over his face, and she wanted to punch it off him so hard. Realising that hitting an old person is terrible, not to mention that she had no idea why she was so angry _exactly_ , she took a careful step away from the former Avenger.

Pivoting on her heel, she locked eyes with an unnaturally still Barnes, and something deep inside her ached at his blank face. Whatever source of knowledge she had told her that he was hiding his emotions with it, hiding weakness. Protecting himself. She didn't want to push him, but she didn't want to leave his presence either.

“Which of you delicious soldiers can tell me where my room is? And perhaps, if we’re both lucky, solve the delivery dilemma?” She gave a coquettish smile, but she really wasn’t feeling it. She wanted to take Bu-Barnes by the hand and drag him to her apartment and run her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. Or until he was ready to let off some steam. Sexy steam.

There was a glint in Wilson's eye as he stepped forward, obviously not looking at Barnes, but found himself yanked back and onto the ground as the Winter Soldier stepped past him, grabbed her bags, and raised a single brow at her before stepping toward the building.

“Hot damn,” she murmured to herself while checking his ass out up close, “Janey, don't wait up!” She trailed after the man with her bags, eyes glued to his ass, while ignoring the snickering and the urge to turn around and shoot Steve Rogers in the knee. 

Barnes glanced over his shoulder, eyes dark and pinned her with a knowing quirk of his lip. 

_ “You’re trouble incarnate, arentcha Sweetheart?” _

_ “Would you want it any other way, Bucky Bear?” _

_ “You kiddin’? You’re a dream come true, Honey.” _

Her chest flooded with warmth that spread to her toes, fingers and ends of her hair. She wanted this man, and had no idea why, but if it was anything like these visions? Dreams? False memories? She would gladly pursue him until the sun burned out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooookay... long time, no read... hope everyone's doing well in this very weird world.
> 
> I dont really know what happened here, I started writing after personal and global chaos derailed me, and it just channelled through me. Before I knew it, I had two chapters finished. Then in editing more channelled through me. 
> 
> I know the tone, and the pace all match up... ish.. (the pace was intended to increase) but the info coming at you has been dialled up to like a million percent. I'm sorry about that inconsistency, but frankly I _really_ liked what came out in these next two chapters and didn't want to delete a thing, and the other stuff has already been published... soo... sorry, but also kinda not sorry?
> 
> I really hope you like it though, re-reading through it left me wondering who the hell I was channelling and if I could buy them a drink cause some of this made me laugh so freaking hard and laughter is absolutely one of the best ways to get in my pants... that and sass... *tumble weed rolls by*
> 
> aaaaaanyway... let me know what you think. It's unbeta'd, so if you catch any errors or anything, leave a comment. Can't improve if I don't know I can.
> 
> I hope you say something when you speak.   
> I hope you listen to what you are hearing.  
> I hope you are present wherever you are.  
> I hope you care for those you love.
> 
> Stay safe, stay sane, love hard, live well and laugh every chance you get.
> 
> (Obligatory comment about how I own nothing and how I'm just playing with other people's characters, and that sadly it isn't in a literal sense. Continuation of obligatory comment to explain that the plot is mine, even though I, and everyone I know, thought I lost it.)
> 
> Now on with the shenanigans!

_ "Oh fuck, Sweetheart," Bucky's hand drifted feather light across her sensitive skin, ripping a hoarse moan of pleasure from her throat.  _

_ Her damp hair was sticking to her neck and her arms where they were tied with satin above her head.  _

_ She was drunk with pleasure. An orgasm that doesn't end until he decides to stop pleasuring her. _

_ He leaned down, not faltering the languid roll of his hips, wrapped his mouth around her nipple and rolled it between his tongue and teeth only to let go with a pop that pulled a ragged moan from her. _

_ His cock glided across particular nerves deep inside, setting off yet another explosive orgasmic peak. She jack knifed under him with a silent scream, her tired body clamping down on him, trying to milk him. His hips never slowing as he drew out her high. _

_ "Nggggg, sssso good. So beautiful, so fucking gorgeous. God you feel so fffucking good, Honey." His babbling really did things for her. She loved knowing her partner was right there with her in the moment. "Gonna make sure you feel so good, Sweetheart. Gonna keep you so satisfied. You feel good, Sweetness? You satisfied to the bone? You feelin' good?" _

"You feelin' okay?"

"Huh?" She blinked, focusing on the man a few dozen feet ahead of her. She realised that she had slowed to a stop while he continued. She needed to get a handle on the zoning out, it might put her in some kind of danger if she isn't careful. 

"Yeah, just… a lot to take in." A pang of sadness shot through her at the reminder of Nat, who was the one to teach her how to use double-speak.

He eyed her and nodded, but didn't push. 

They wandered through a major junction with six corridors and two stairwells. The sight of that many identical hallways made Darcy groan, "I'm gonna get so fucking lost in this place."

Barnes chuckled, seeming to have loosened up now that it was just the two of them. Though, she would have thought it would have been the others that he relaxed around. "Nah, that's what the computers' for." 

She frowned at him, "What? F.R.I.D.A.Y.?"

He glanced sideways at her, "No, you get a tablet as part of your accommodation. There's internal messages, calls, mail, navigation, location, tracking if you need to find someone, and more. It's no flying car, but it'll do."

She had a vague memory of seeing Coulson's flying car, she wasn't sure if it was real or one of those visions, but the thought made her wonder if Barnes had ever seen it.

She took a dramatic step away from him and held up her hands. "Whoa, slow down chatty Kathy! You use your years quota of words just now? Do I need to learn sign language to learn how to get to the cafeteria?"

His lips twitched and he shook his head dismissively. "Mess hall aint that hard to find," He raked his teeth over his bottom lip, slow enough for Darcy to notice but too fast for it to process into any real thought except for how lickable he was. "I could, I mean, if you want, I could show you how to get there?"

Darcy gazed up at the side of his face. He was so still.

"That would be awesome of you, thanks!" She watched his shoulders relax. 

His nod was stiff, but the skin around his eyes was soft.

"Maybe after? After I show you your room? What are you up to?"

  
  
  


_ "What are you up to?" _

_ Darcy stopped opening her chopsticks for a moment to glance at her tray, his half eaten tray, and the busy cafeteria, before continuing what she was doing. "Uh, eating? But actually, I also have the afternoon off. Jane totally passed out while she was working on the spectrometer. I'm ashamed to admit it took me two whole hours to figure out that the grinding noise was actually snoring, and NOT the machine itself." She popped the can of her soda and glared at him, "If you tell Tony, I’ll tell Steve about your obscene stash of marshmallow fluff. Oh! Speaking of, as I was awkwardly tucking a blanket around Jane and the Spectrometer, I noticed that the sky was clear with big cotton candy clouds and I was hoping I could convince you to come outside with me and do some cloud watching." She leant over in her chair to get a better view of the sky through the windows, "The tower's been chaos for months and I mean we've been trapped inside for so long that I forget what the sun feels like and what better way to escape for some peace than natures very own Rorschach test?" _

_ Bucky stared at her blankly. _

_ She held her hands up. "I promise I wont judge your answers if you don't judge mine! And even better, if Steve comes to bother us again, we can make up things that will offend his delicate spangly sensibilities!" _

_ She waggled her hands and grinned at him. Her grin started to slip as the blank look on his face remained unchanged. _

_ "What are you doing?" He asked , a micro twitch between his brows the only indication of his annoyance. _

_ Darcy put her hands down feeling her face contort with confusion. "I don't understand." _

_ She watched his jaw muscles flex and realised that he was unnaturally still. She'd never been afraid of him, and she wasn't now, but she was worried that she'd unknowingly fucked up. She did that a lot. It's why she had so few friends. Thankfully Jane was equally socially inept, so they fumbled together. _

_ He stood from the table and stalked off, she watched as his tense energy caused people to trip over themselves to get out of his way… _

_ She stared at her sushi. "What just happened?" _

"What just happened?" Cringing, she glanced up from the floor, finding confusion rather than anger or frustration. She didn't know what it was about him, but these... dreams? visions? Whatever they were, they were too real and she was starting to get freaked out.

"Nothin'" she mumbled into the awkward space between them. 

He watched her silently for a moment before he scratched his jaw thoughtfully. "Didn't seem like nothin'. Plus, you're usually bouncin' around, talkin' a mile a minute, Sweetheart."

She felt her face scrunch up with confusion, not only at his words since he technically just met her and shouldn't know what she's 'usually' like, but at the wave of familiarity and comfort that rolled through her at him calling her 'Sweetheart'.

She was shaken from her reverie by her bag nudging her side, causing her to look up at the man holding it. 

A wicked little uptick drew her eyes to his lips. "C'mon, I'll show you your room, then we'll go raid the sweets in the mess hall while Stevie spends all his time tryin' to communicate the same language as Foster."

_ "Wha- I can't... believe you... just... did that!" _

_ "Miss Foster-" _

_ "Thats DOCTOR Foster, you enormous meathead clutzoid bimbo! Doctooooor! D. O. C. T. O. R. That's right, I - a WOMAN, who has absolutely no PENIS-" _

_ "She's got balls, though." _

_ "Darcy!" _

_ "What!? I'm just saying! Go on, continue handing Mister America his ass and shit all over his clumsy patrioticness." _

_ "Language." _

_ "English, Spanish, Russian, French, Java, CSS, or Klingon?" _

_ "Wait, you know Klingon?" _

_ "You're right it probably doesn't count." _

_ "But it's an entire language." _

_ "I know, but I only know three sentences." _

_ "Huh... what are they?" _

_ "Well there's "I want to go back to your ship to meet your little captain." Umm… "Is it hot in here, or is it just you." And "Even if this planet didn't have gravity, you'd still make my panties drop." _

_ "... Wow." _

_ "Yup." _

_ "What's Klingon?" _

_ "I'll show you Klingon when I fling you out into the furthest reaches of known space, you machine destroying bilgesnipe!"  _

_ "Please, Mis- Doctor, please stop…" _

_ "Dude, don't look at me like that. You had your chance to run, you're on your own." _

_ "But-" _

Darcy tried to frown, but felt the urge to laugh tugged harder at her lips. "I don't know, watching that might actually be better than all the raspberry liquorice in all the state."

"The hell it is!"

Darcy's mouth popped open at the outburst, and something in her softened inside when she saw his cringe.

Barnes hesitated, wetting his lips which only drew her eyes, again. Seeming to make a decision, his eyes darted back and forth, scoping the area, before pinning her where she stood. Frozen, she watched motionless as he drew himself up to his full height. She didn't realise he'd been making himself  _ that  _ much smaller. It made her ache for him, because she knew  _ somehow _ , that it was because he didn't want to scare people. But she wasn't scared. 

_ "How can I be scared of such a big sap?" _

_ "You've never seen me with a gun." _

_ "Probably a good thing, I might start peeling my clothes off for you right there and then." _

_ "... that's disturbing." _

_ "I can't help it, you get all in the zone and start radiating the kind of competence that makes me want to rub myself all over you. I've only seen you with a gun once on the news, and I wore out the batteries in my vibe." _

_ "... good to know." _

_ "... Ahh, fuck." _

_ "That's the idea, Sweetheart." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is already written and checked over.. and over... but I want to pace it out, and didn't want to cause confusion, so I wont be posting it til next week at the latest. (I even have an alarm set and everything.) 
> 
> Having said that, I'm hoping whatever it is that is blessing me with the funny is hanging around. That way I can add to, and/or finish some of the other ongoing works I have, (including my second novel _Once Upon A... Really?_ ) meaning you may end up catching an update for one of those between now and then, so keep your eyes peeled just in case.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the next chapter! I know I promised it for yesterday, however I wasn't able to fit in more than a final edit before it was bleary-eye O'clock. And while I know I mentioned that I would likely have something else for you to read, the... _thing_ I wrote ended up being pretty disappointing, so I abandoned it at about the 5k word mark... I'm sorry, I didn't want to inflict that word salad upon you.   
> I'm hoping to have something in the next week again... however, life is a complex thing at the moment and I will either give you nothing, or I may give you three new chapters and a new one shot in two days... these things really are unpredictable, no matter how I schedule things.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed rereading it back during my edit, I found myself laughing a bit at quite a few parts. 
> 
> Also, this _is_ unbeta'd, so feel free to mention any errors you may come across, I'm always trying to learn and improve. 
> 
> Live, Love, Laugh <3

_ His hands clamped down on her thighs as her circling hips sped up. Her head was tossed back, traditionally styled pin curls tickled her lower back while she panted to the ceiling.  _

_ “Oh god. Nng, Saaarge. So full. So fucking... ducky? That’s the word, right. Fuck, I can’t think.”  _

_ A keening moan erupted from her when his sobbing laugh sent vibrations right through her core. “Sarge, Sarge, Sarge, Bucky, Bucky! Shit I’m so close. Oh god, I’m gonna come.” _

_ The shaking hands clutching her stocking tops slid up to grasp her hips to help her move faster. “That’s it, Sweetheart. Oh shit, Sugar, you’re everything, this right here, ‘t’s everything. Look at me, Honey, wanna see your face. Gotta have something to hold onto when they have me off sortin’ out Nazis.” _

_ She managed to get her chin down and eyes open to gaze down at the ravaged man below her. His reproduction olive army shirt was unbuttoned and the undershirt was ripped halfway down the middle, both drenched in sweat and tears. His faded service cap had been placed carefully on the bedside table, while his freshly reprinted dog tags jingled with every one of his heaving breaths.  _

_ She walked her hands up from his stomach, to lay fully against him, despite the discomfort of her bra being tucked under her breasts, and the restriction in movement.  _

_ Sliding her fingers up into his hair, she wiped her thumbs across the saline streaks at his temples and pressed her lips to his for a moment, pulling back to give him a better view.  _

_ Licking her lips, she raised a brow at him, “Sarge, your dizzy dame is cooking with gas, and eager beaver to flip her wig all over your kidney buster, you gonna be a flat tyre or grandstand for her?”  _

_ His eyes widened and fingers tightened a moment before a bellowing wet laugh erupted from him.  _

_ That was... not the response she was expecting. _

_ A moment later, he was moving her over him, impaling her on his length while the blunt head began a continuous jarring assault on her G spot.  _

_ “Oh, Sugarplum, you’re somethin’ else… so good to me… Fuck... you ruin me.” He began speeding his movements with hoarse rhythmic grunts while Darcy held tight for the ride, a long low moan pouring out of her. “Y’got the sweetest heart. Sounded like you’d had a stroke,” his movements not faltering as he snickered, she couldn’t even feel embarrassed, she was so consumed by him. “I get it though… what you’re tryin’ t’do…”  _

  
  


His eyes flickered between hers as he crossed his thick arms, and wow, she was not aware she had an arm kink or anything, but daaaaamn…

His chin lifted slightly, and it wasn't until his breath set one of her curls in motion that she noticed how close he was standing. She focused on keeping her breathing even, if she wasn't careful, she was going to start panting. 

One brow lifted. Just one. It was no more than a fraction of a  _ fraction _ of an inch and she felt it zing through her, setting tingles off in her breasts, tightening her nipples, and she felt a flood of biblical proportions as the sensation settled between her legs. She held back the moan that pushed against the back of her teeth, but from the way his eyes darkened ever so slightly, she knew he was fully aware what he was doing, what she was feeling.

After a long moment, he smirked, "I've watched Stevie put both feet in his mouth, knee deep, around women since before the great depression. Its old hat. 'Fact, if you want, I can get him to do it anytime you want, day or night." She felt her heart dip along with his smirk, shoulders and eyes. "Sweets, candy, cakes, treats, whatever you wanna call it…" a light dusting of pink shaded the tops of his unfairly pretty cheekbones, making the blue in his cautious eyes appear more vivid. "It's, ah… you can't tell no one," she nodded in a daze. She felt like she was sleepwalking. 

Old Darcy would have just gone with it. Would have pushed him against the wall and ignored any consequences, but New!Darcy hates not knowing what's happening. The facts were that she was having sex dreams and visions of this man. She just met him officially, and already she knew too much,  _ they _ knew too much about each other to be perfect strangers. And while that scared the shit out of her, she still wanted to wrap him in a blanket and give him a hot chocolate, wanted to show him all her favourite ice cream flavours, wanted to pull him down to the floor right here in the communal hall junction and pull him apart with her mouth and hands before riding him until he and his serum enhanced dick were too fucked out to get back up. Maybe she could do all of them at once. 

His eyes widened and she wondered what he saw on her face to make him look so breathless, before he cleared his throat and went on as if the tension between them wasn’t ratcheting up with every second that passes. "It's a new thing I found on the internet. It's where you do things for yourself that make you happy, or relaxed, ‘stead of expecting other people or things to do it for you. ‘T’s called self-care?"

She narrowed her eyes up at his cautious expression, ignoring the urge to smooth the lines between his brows. "Okay, ignoring the fact that you seem to have skipped the part where most self-care is supposed to be  _ healthy _ ," she lifted a brow at the way he ducted his head trying to hide the faintest of bashful smiles. "If candy makes you happy, and I can think of no one in the history of the universe who deserves to capture every little ounce of happy they can get more than you, then I won't disrespect candy ever again." His little pleased smile made her feel warm in non panty ruining…  _ ruined _ areas of her body. "In fact, we might have to make a rule, or a commandment for it. Thou shalt not blaspheme sugary treats or the results will be harsh penalties. We could register it as a religion and the days after Halloween and Easter will be our most sacred days of the year."

His brows furrowed, confusion flickered, but the slowly blooming grin was untarnished by it. "Why not Halloween or Easter themselves? Isn't that when chocolates and candy are at their peak?"

She felt an impish grin tug at her lips. "I see no one’s told you about the heavily discounted post holiday candy, Bucky Bear." Didn't that roll off the tongue like she'd called him that a million times. And  _ oh! _ Wasn't his surprised delight the most breathtaking thing she'd ever borne witness to. Darcy was beginning to worry that she'd been ruined for all others  _ before _ she'd ever had a chance to even  _ look _ at what she had sleep powered means to  _ know _ was a spectacular cock. 

To distract herself she went on. "So, shall we create a religion that worships all things sweet?"

He appraised her a moment, his happiness softening, warming his eyes. "Sounds like a dream come true," He leaned close again, eyes dancing and voice low and slow vibrating in her bones. " _ Sweet _ heart."

_ "Bucky Bear?" _

_ "Yeah, Sugar?" _

_ "Why do you call me Sugar? And Sweetheart, and Honey? I'd have thought you'd use cute '40's names like Moll, or Dollface, or…" _

_ "What th- is tha- are you reading pet names off a list from the internet?" _

_ "... yes. How come you don't call me things like Flapper, or Cat's Pajamas… did cats have pajamas back in the olden days? Were they as cute as they sound? Why don’t cats wear pajamas anymore?" _

_ "Gimme that." _

_ "Hey! I was playing Candy Crush!" _

_ "You wanna know why I call you those things, Honey?" _

_ "That's not fair, you can't talk to me like that! I can’t think and I get all stupid and humiliate myself." _

_ "Don't worry, Sugar, I'll still love you, just like you'll still love me when I do dumb stuff." _

_ "Mmm, yeah, I really do. Will. Shit." _

_ "You wanna know why I call you those names?" _

_ "Oh yeah! Uh-huh, yes please. Hey don't laugh at me. Mean." _

_ "Sorry, you're too cute." _

_ "Cute, like a little shit or cute like a kitten?" _

_ "Wanna know why I call you those things?" _

_ "Ugh! Shit! Fuck! Yes! Goddamn it, Bucky. Stop fucking laughing!" _

_ "Ow, hey! Hey! That's my Nazi punchin’ arm! Ah! Alright, Tiger, cool it. I'll tell ya when y- hey! Would ya stop hittin' me? See I stopped." _

_ "... Go on." _

_ "You're a cold woman, Darcy Lewis." _

_ "Pfft, whatever I am, you can't get enough of me, so drop the shit and tell me already." _

_ "Head full of brains, biggest heart in the world, pretty as a picture, dangerous curves that belong on the side of a B-24 Liberator, and the sexiest lips that only ever whispers sweet filth… how could I get enough of any of that?" _

_ "... shit, Bucky. Are you  _ trying _ to get me to fuck you in public? Cause that's what it seems like you're asking right now. You might as well be saying, 'Hey, Sweetheart, bend over, skirt up, and hold on tight. Hope you didn't like these panties. Don't mind the passers by, you know being watched makes you hot.'" _

_ "Oh, Ha ha ha. Think you're so cute." _

_ "Uh, duh. You just said I was cute yourself." _

_ "Did I? Y’must’a misheard. 'Sides, I don’t sound like that, and I'd never share you with anyone… 'cept maybe Stevie, but only because I trust him with our lives and he doesn't have a chance in hell with you. God knows why though, he's clearly the better man." _

_ "Nope. You're the better man. He may be a great option for someone else, I mean, his ass probably launched a thousand ships, but you? Fuck, you are every romantic and come filled dream come true." _

_ "Did I mention how much I love that filthy mouth on you?" _

_ "Fuuuck! Bucky, with the voice! Staaaahp!" _

_ "Mmm, alright, but later we're gonna try and break Stevie's kitchen." _

_ "You bet your tight fucking ass we will. I'm about ready to climb you like a tree, well, two trees. Your thighs are insane. And that little shit deserves it." _

_ "God, you're so perfect. Hey. You wanna know why I call you those names, Honey?" _

_ "... Yeah." _

_ "Because for a long long time, I had nothin' but salty, bitter and sour. Since I got free, I only wanted sweet things; candy, cakes, fruit, you name it. ‘T’s the last thing Hydra would’ve allowed me. Reminds me I’m free. Giving myself permission to enjoy sweet things makes me happy…" _

_ "Bucky…" _

_ "And then God went and dropped one of His sweetest Angels down from heaven right on my head." _

_ "That fucking alien was not God, his gross vagina pod thing was not heaven, and your lap is not your head… I suppose you have a head ther-" _

_ "I was gone on her from the first moment. She's got the sweetest heart, sweetest smile, sweetest voice… She told me I should make my love for sweets into a religion. She was just joking, but from then on I was a devout worshiper at the temple of Sweetness. Did you just squeak? Sugar? Mmmmmph! Shit, Sweetheart, not here! People will see! Remember Steve's kitc- oooh… no, wait!" _

She felt suspended in the air, like Wile E. Coyote after realising there was no longer anything under his feet, and before gravity decided to kick in. She absently wondered where she should start tearing at his clothes first, and what her little picket sign should say, but his wits seemed to return before gravity did. 

He took a step back and gazed at her in confusion and some frustration. "I know my head is a bit like Swiss cheese, which  _ is _ funny because dark humour  _ is _ a valid way for people to talk about their traumas,  _ Steven _ ." He pointed vaguely to his left side at the sight of her lifted a brow, "Lost this in the Swiss Alps." He waved a hand and shook his head at the thought, like trying to swat a fly. He went on despite his eyes catching and lingering her sardonic smirk. Darcy was a connoisseur of inappropriate humour, so sue her.

He placed her bag down on the floor and began pacing the width of the hall, fingers loosening up his hair tie. She eyed the style, deciding that she liked that it wasn't nearly as pretentious as she usually expected from a man-bun. He looked so stressed out all she wanted to do was help, but she didn't know what he needed. Space? Comfort? Silence? Distraction? She  _ knew _ what Dream!Bucky needed, but until she solved what was happening (which could easily be anything from noxious gas inhalation, to Thanos back from the dead and using the ugly ass blinged out chakra glove as a flesh light,  _ literally  _ fucking with the universe), for all she knew, this Bucky needed a to eat his weight in potato soup and cry over Disney movies.

_ “Are you okay?” _

_ “...Yeah.” _

_ “You’ve been crying.” _

_ “I don’t wanna talk about it.” _

_ “We watched Up, Aunty Darcy!” _

_ “Did you now? And hello to you too, Morgan!” _

_ “Hello! Uncle Bucky got really sad at the start of the movie when the lady wasn’t there anymore, but it’s okay. I reminded him that he’s safe and he was with me and watching Up, and then he smiled again.” _

_ “Good stuff, Kiddo. Your Dad’s gonna be here in twenty minutes, your mission is to eat as much of the easter chocolate you can before he gets here.” _

_ “You’re the best Aunty in the WHOLE world!” _

_ “Jokes on you, I’m kinda your only Aunty…” _

_ “Still the best!” _

_ “Eh, I’ll take it.” _

_ “What, don’t look at me like that. You know Earhart was my littlest sister’s idol, it was like watching her live out her life before my eyes in a couple of minutes.” _

_ “Yeah, I ge-... by the power of Grey Scull…” _

_ “Holy hell, how’s she swallowing it all without chewing?” _

_ “I don’t know, but I’m glad. Tony’s in for one hell of a night. I warned Pep. She told him she’s working late, but I paid for her to take the evening off at the spa...” _

_ “Whoa, new super villian level achieved, Honey. What’d he do to deserve this kind of punishment?” _

_ “He knows what he did.” _

"Swiss cheese aside, I'm pretty sure we already know each other. I  _ know  _ we’ve had this same conversation before. But I can't seem to figure out when because I’ve worked hard at trying to put my memories in order with my therapist, and you dont fucking fit… I've been trying to find where and how we met, why I don’t remember, or if it was planted in my head.” His eyes were tracking memories and his arms were all over the place. Because of this weird scenario, she  _ knew _ he needed to calm down before something bad triggered a flashback, depressive spell or something worse. “Because the fucked up thing about it is I  _ want _ you to fit, and thats just fucking insane! Isn't it? Shouldn't it be? But it doesn't  _ feel _ like it, it doesn't  _ feel _ insane, it  _ feels _ so fucking  _ right _ …"

His chest was heaving and since she had this uncanny knowledge of him, she could also see he was holding back tears. Her own eyes were stinging in sympathy for him.

"Hey hey, no. It's okay." She lifted her hands, but stayed where she stood. He looked overwhelmed and she really didn't want to make it worse. "It's not your memories at fault, I'm pretty sure it's dreams? I guess and visions? Or well… actually I have no fucking idea what it is… I'm experiencing some weird dreams or whatever, too. I was gonna puzzle it out with Jane when she finished fangirling over Dr. Hulk… you’re welcome to be part of it, since it’s apparently affecting you, too. Also, unrelated,  _ how _ exactly does he get laid? Surely his big ol' green dick is-"

"STOP!" Darcy jumped, and he seemed ashamed for a moment and she hated it. "Please stop. I don't wanna think about his- Ah shit! It’s too late. I’ve got the mental image. I have to fight terrorists and shit alongside him with a mental image of his gigantic green dick. How the fuck am I gonna be able to look at him?" He looked nearly betrayed.

Darcy pursed her lips in thought... to hide the laugh that was trying to make its way through. "You mean you haven't seen it before in the shower blocks?" At his scrunched up face she elaborated. "Isn't there, like, an after mission locker room where all you Avengers guys all wash the grime off and talk about how tired you all are and what you're looking forward to when you get home or have, like, a post game wind down?"

The look of incredulousness on his face was, in Darcy's opinion, the greatest thing she had ever seen and/or done. Especially since this Bucky seemed to respond as well to distraction from panic as Dream!Bucky.

"... the hell? You been watching some weird Avengers football team porn on Tumblr or somethin’?"

_ "Hey, Sugar, if Instagram is for photographs, Twitter is for telegram-like tweets, and facebook is for friends-" _

_ "Purportedly." _

_ "Purportedly for friends, what's Tumblr for?" _

_ "Story porn." _

_ "... story porn?" _

_ "Yeah, like porn, but in story format, and pics, art, short videos and gifs." _

_ "... porn in story, art, pics, videos which is film, and… gifs are the one second short films, right?" _

_ "Yup." _

_ "... huh." _

_ "Want me to sign you up wi-" _

_ "Yes." _

A short burst of laughter escaped her, "Nope! Just a healthy libido and spectacular under stimulated imagination. Plus, Tumblr no longer has porn."

The way he narrowed his eyes like that looked like… he looked like she had set him a challenge. What the fuck kind of challenge was running through his head relating to- oh.  _ Oooh. _

Shit. 

She needed to find an adult toy store like yesterday.

She opened her mouth to say something, anything, to deter him from the things running through his mind… well at least just until they figured out what the fuck was going on with them, because Darcy suspected that whatever he was thinking would end in a  _ lot _ of orgasms. 

Thoughts of seeing him naked and sweaty while she was awake were interrupted by the sound of running feet and a socially blind Jane. 

"There you are, Darcy,” she sighed with relief.

Darcy eyed the way Dr Banner merely walked leisurely to keep up with the diminutive astrophysicist, wondering what the hell kind of sex toy he would need to rig up to fit him. "Yes, Janey?"

Jane didn't answer, but was blinking at Barnes over Darcy’s shoulder. When Darcy glanced over, she saw that he was leaning against the wall, her bag over his shoulder once more, staring at the ground as though he were bored and he didn't want to be there. She didn’t know what kind of ninja skills it took to look so unaffected, but she kinda wished she had them so she could look cool once in a while. She bit her lip and tried not to laugh when she managed to catch how dark his cheekbones had gotten. 

Clearing her throat, she turned back to her friend and placed her hands on her friend's bird-like arms, making sure to keep her face as straight as possible. "Jane, I need to tell you something. It may come as quite a shock, but here goes." She cleared her throat and paused for affect. "The Avengers don't have a post mission locker room."

"What!? Why not? How come? But…" the little scientist's shoulders slumped. "I-I feel like my life has been a lie."

"I feel like I've missed something here," Dr Banner's amused green eyes were bouncing from one woman to the other.

"Trust me, Pal, you don't wanna know." Darcy snickered at Bucky's words, catching the tiny answering curl at the corner of his lip through the loose locks of chocolate obscuring his face. So many warm feelings, it was like emotional overload. She felt like she needed to face plant onto her yet located bed and spend a solid hour emotionally venting into it... or as Jane liked to call it, hysterical beluga shrieking.

She turned back to Jane feeling lighter than she had since even before the snap, and raised her brows in askance. 

She started, obviously remembering she'd chased Darcy down for a reason. 

"Okay, so you know that  _ problem  _ you wanted me to help you work on?" Darcy pressed her lips together and nodded.

"So, it turns out, uh… Dr Banner is having the same... experience."

Darcy's mouth popped open before her brain could filter the words. "The Hulk's having hot as hell sex dreams of Bucky Barnes, too?"

The hallway was deathly silent for a moment, before a rhythmic huffing broke the quiet. She turned in time to see that the huffing was, in fact, Bucky chuckling. 

“... ah, fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure whether anyone can tell yet what is actually happening since I've not dropped any clues yet, but a few people absolutely guessed correctly that Bucky was having the dreams as well... I'm interested in hearing theories though!

**Author's Note:**

> *draws a circle on the ground with my toe* 
> 
> Didja like it?
> 
> Debut novel **Once Upon A… What?** now available!  
>  _Self-sufficient, snarky artist Tabitha and her delightfully crass best friend Scott, are transported into a magical realm by a dusty relic. They have to seek oracles and face down a dragon while trying to evade an immortal asshole to find a way home, or else be trapped there, undying, for all eternity._  
> [www.KatherineHenshaw.com](https://www.katherinehenshaw.com)
> 
> Sequel **Once Upon A... Really?** in progress.


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